Raising a bi-racial daughter in America today...

For those of you who dont know me, I am the mother of an amazing 11 year old girl, who happens to be half black. Deshae was and continues to be the joy of my life. She is the wittiest little thing that always has a joke to brighten my day. She is energetic and bubbly, carries a 4.0 gpa and is an amazing athlete! So how do I, living in a small town with very little diversity raise a bi-racial daughter?

Does racism still exist? Yes, I'm going there. While we may not experience things any more like burning crosses in our yard or dead racoons on our front porch, racism is still very real.

In Malcolm Gladwell's book "The Breaking Point" he shares his research that Black Men, still to this day, make 30% less than White Men. In "Freakanomics" they show research that the same EXACT resume is 6 times more likely to receive a call back if the name is something like Matt or Bill, compared to names such as Tyrone or Daeshon.

I believe that racism is much less in bigger cities where diversity and culture are not only loved but desired. Maybe that is what has kept me away from GP for 10 years- the lack of diversity and culture. I'd be lying if I didnt have thoughts moving back of my daughter. Wondering how the community will accept her, will boys in school think she is pretty, will she be the brutal punt of some jokes at school...

How do you raise a girl to become an amazing black woman in a small town today? Because lets face it, that is how the world will see my daughter. Even though she is as much white as black, they will see that black girl coming in for a job or college interview. It is the stigmas here in this small community that have made me look more carefully at the things I teach her.

We will not be late - We do not leave the house in our pajamas with uncombed hair- We will respect our teachers, elders, etc - We will use proper English. Call me extreme, I dont care. I will not let my baby live up to the stigmas that are already on the forefront of people's minds. I will prove them wrong. That is my objective.

As a family, we watch movies that depict strong black figures like Ray Charles, the first entertainer in history who stood up for black rights and refused to play in a segregated theatre. He was banned from the state of Georgia for life by congress because of that. And now, after a public apology and welcome back, Georgia has taken Ray Charles' song "Georgia" as their official state song.

We watch things on Youtube like the U of O women's relay team out run the other colleges by almost 100 yards- taking themselves to possibly the national title. And I point out to my daughter while we watch it "their entire team is black women!" I want to point it out to show her strong black women and what they can accomplish.

I am so thankful that I cannot remember a time in my life growing up where any one in my family made a racist joke- whether it be about hispanics, asians, blacks, didnt matter. Maybe thats because my dad's side lived by the Sunday School song "red and yellow black and white they are precious in His sight." My mom's side, well, we all had some sort of jungle fever :)

Honestly, though- I dont remember my family ever making a comment about someone elses' race. Recently my 11 year old was watching TV. She was telling me something about the show she was watching and referred to a character as Chinese. I noticed his name was not Chinese, but rather Japanese. I corrected her "I dont think he is Chinese, I think he is Japanese." Her response was "whatever, they all look the same." I say this because kids sometimes dont know the damage they are saying and its our jobs as parents to correct them. Shame on the parents who laugh and agree at comments like that, they are only fueling the fire in their own kids. Of course, I quickly chastised my daughter "do all black people look alike?" "do you look like every other black girl in the world." "That sort of comment is racist- we dont talk like that in our home." I said it with love and encouragement. I didnt belittle her, because she didnt know. She probably heard it on TV or from friends, but now when she hears it again, I hope she corrects the person that says it.

I have been so proud of my daughter through her transition not only back to GP but into middle school. She has endured racism already- quite a bit. But yet, she still loves school, gets straight A's, plays select sports and next year is in all advanced classes. She will make people in our community rethink how they view black girls and Im so honored to be her mommy.